OH NO! NOW I GOT IT...

I thought for sure I'd get out of this one even though I've seen it going around. These memes are like viruses, though, and sure enough, Michelle gave it to me.

1) What were 3 of the stupidest things you've done in your life:

1. Not finishing college.
2. Not learning the importance of managing finances, saving, & having good credit.
3. Getting addicted to drugs.

2) At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?

• A friend who I won't name, but I think this person knows who they are...

3) If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to pick up only 5 people to dine with, who would you pick?

1. My Dad (who passed away in 1986, so that he would know I eventually turned out OK)
2. Myself when I was still in college (to stress the importance of finishing)
3. My husband's friend, Rick, who was killed in a plane crash December 2002
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger (I admire him because he knew everything he wanted to do with his life since he was 15, and he has done all of those things)
5. I guess my friend from #2

4) If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

1. That I had never separated from my husband for 5 months.
2. That my mother wasn't going blind.
3. I'd give the third wish to my friend and they could choose.

5) Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

Not having:

1. Decent paying jobs. (most jobs are service related & don't pay very well. I know people that drive 80 miles one way to Jacksonville for work everyday because of the job situation here)
2. A Golden Corral restaurant. (I love their bread)

Avoid:

1. Going to the beachside or Main Street during Bike Week or any other special events, unless that's what you're here for.
2. Driving through Daytona Beach Shores. The cops will pull you over for going 1 mile over the speed limit. They have nothing better to do.

6) Tag three people:

1. Lorena
2. Cy
3. Orb

WEEKEND UPDATE

I guess I should write an entry.  I've been busy and I haven't felt too good so that's been part of the reason why I haven't updated.

As noted in my previous entry, hubby was laid off.  He had worked there for 9 years.  There are rumors circulating that they will be asking people back and it isn't a permanent layoff.  I don't think he's going back, though.  He's got some odd jobs lined up for right now, but nothing really steady.  I think I'm more worried about things than he is, actually, which is not usually the way it is.

I was unable to hide the fact that something was wrong from my mother.  I really didn't want to get into the discussion with her at this time.  I told her about my job being shaky, but not about hubby's layoff.  While she is sympathetic about what I'm having to deal with, I know she wouldn't be to hubby about his situation.  Even though it's not his fault, she would figure in some way it is, and even if it's not, he should already have another job or two and be working.  Of course she believes that the man always has to provide for the woman, not the other way around.  There have been times I've been the provider and other times where he has.  Most of the time, we both do the providing.  Unless she asks me outright, I don't plan on telling her that hubby was laid off.

I DID get some news today regarding my company.  It sounded like it might be good, but you never know how these things go.  I really can't divulge anything about it right now, though.

I didn't do much over the weekend.  Saturday, I slept pretty much the whole day.  I was so tired and I think the week of not getting but 2-3 hours of sleep a night just caught up to me and I must have needed the sleep.  I felt more rested Sunday, so that's all I can figure.

Saturday night I played in a freeroll poker tournament.  It was a $250 prize pool, split among the top 18 finishers.  There were 133 people entered.  I finished in 18th place, just in the money.  I won a whopping $3.00.  Oh well, at least I was in the money and it was good practice and it cost me nothing to enter.  I played a little bit of poker Sunday while talking to my mother.  I have to do something because she loves to talk for at least 30 minutes and I'm just not into the long phone calls, but I let her ramble on.  I went to a cash table with $10 and by the time I got done talking to her, I was at $25.  I figured I had doubled my money and a little more, so that was good.  I haven't played any more poker since then, although I do have my regular weekly tournament tonight at 8:30.  I wasn't going to play, but now they are giving out bonus prizes too and Andy Bloch is going to try to play.

One of the reasons I've been so busy last week is that I decided to go ahead and try for the scholarship I had mentioned in another post.  This is one that was being offered for any adult over 25 that has been diagnosed and is undergoing treatment for ADHD.  I had to write an essay about why I want to go back to school, plus I had to have written recommendations from my doctor and a friend (someone not related to me).  My doctor screwed up the first one he wrote because he must have misread the instructions, so I was on pins and needles on whether I'd get a corrected one by last Friday, which was the deadline.  He came through just fine and so did my friend.  I had a really emotional moment when I read my friend's recommendation, though.  Maybe I'm not used to people writing positive and encouraging things about me.  When I read my friend's recommendation, I cried tears of joy.  It was one of, if not the, nicest things I've ever read anyone write about me.  Anyhow, I'll find out in August sometime if I'm one of the winners. 

MAJOR SETBACK

Well, things just got worse on the employment situation.  But it's hubby, not me.  Or at least not yet.  Mine still hasn't improved any, so I could be out of a job any day.  Hubby got laid off today.  They laid off all the workers except for upper management, of course.  He'll apply for unemployment and his friend has some work for him to do in the meantime, but it's not anything steady. 

I was really hoping that this would not happen.  The only good thing is that he was laid off and he didn't quit at least.  I know he's been wanting to quit really bad.  Still, this really sucks because I was just getting stuff caught up and some past due stuff paid that was caused by last year's hurricane season.  And my job is on shaky ground, so we can't really depend on it too much.  Not to mention I make half of what he made weekly, so we're talking a significant reduction of income.  If he finds something else around here, most likely he'll be taking a pay cut as it is.  The only way he could maybe make better money is to be willing to drive down towards Melbourne every day.  It'd have to be a good bit of money to offset the gas, time and wear and tear on a vehicle.

I'm thinking we may have to sell all these radio control toys he's been buying lately.  He said he doesn't want to, but it may come to that.  I still have a garage full of stuff I should probably go through and see what I might be able to sell.  We don't really have any extra bills right now, except for cable/Internet.  I'm not willing to part with Internet access, but the cable could go for all I care.  There's hardly anything good on TV these days.  Other than that, all we have is our housing, utilities, car payment, and insurance.  I was trying to pay off some old bills from last year because of the hurricanes, but that will have to be put on hold for now.

Why does it seem when you're almost caught up or things seem to be going okay that something always has to happen to set you back?  Some people work at a place for years and never seem to have to worry about their job or they work in a field where it's easy to find another job equally as good if they do get laid off.  They don't have to worry too much about a loss of income or they make enough money that they actually have the 6 months living expenses set aside in savings just in case.  I haven't been able to save anything and I just now started to.  Every single time I've started a savings account or to save in any way, something bad happens and I either end up having to use my savings to bail us out or as it is in my case right now, I can't even touch my savings because it's a 401K, so it does us little good.  But if I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have had so much taken out for my 401K.  I was wanting to put away as much as possible since I'm starting so late in my life to save.  I'd actually have to put aside my entire salary to get even close to what I'd like to have for retirement, which obviously isn't going to happen.  So I know I'm not going to retire.  I'll work until I drop dead, most likely.  But at least I was hoping to have something saved to help out.  It just seems every time I do start saving, we have a major setback.

It just seems at times we take 1 step forward and then end up 2 steps back.  I hate feeling that I'm spinning my wheels just to be where I'm at and that I can't get ahead at all. 

20 QUESTIONS GAME

This is pretty cool. It guessed what I was thinking of. You think of an item and the site asks 20 questions that you answer regarding the item you're thinking of and then it tries to guess what that item is. It's like an artificial intelligence thing. I was thinking of a deck of cards and that's what it told me at the end. Here's the link to try it for yourself: 20Q.net

BEST FRIEND, JOB UNCERTAINTY AND MOM

I know my last entry wasn't a very positive one.  There's just a lot of stuff going on and being in pain with a toothache probably made me even more crabby.  The tooth pain comes and goes now, so I'm taking that as an improvement over it being in pain all the time.  Still, it sucks when it does hurt.

Friday, I leave work in anticipation of hubby being pretty much depressed all weekend because a) we didn't have any money to do anything and b) there was a hurricane passing through on the other coast which was sure to guarantee a rainy weekend.  I still wasn't feeling too good because of the tooth and because of everything else that had been going on.

On the way home, my cell phone rings.  I didn't recognize the number, although I did recognize the area code as being from the Atlanta, Georgia area.  Since my brother and his family and my nephew all live there, I took the call.  It turns out to be my best friend, who I've not heard a peep from in months.  That's the way it sometimes goes with us.  Last time I'd talked to her, I sensed things weren't going too good, but she didn't seem to want to get into it, so I didn't press her.  I knew she wasn't working at the same place anymore, either.

She called, supposedly worried about the hurricane and acting like it was coming directly for us.  Well, I'd already been through my share of these things last year, so I'd kept a close eye on it and knew it wasn't coming this way unless it took a strange turn and came through like Charley did.  Really, I think she just wanted to talk to me and it wasn't about a hurricane.  So after getting the focus off of me and how I was doing, I asked her about her situation and she broke down in tears.

This evidently has been a terrible year for her (I know all about that one) and everything that could go wrong has.  She's had custody battles for her son, which I knew had been going on and she had been trying to work out her marriage with her current husband, who isn't the father of her son.  Well now her grandmother is dying in a hospital in Tennessee.  It's one of those situations where she's not going to come out of it.  The woman is 89 years old for one.  Anyhow, she didn't seem as upset about that as she was about being there for her Mom, who is freaking out about my friend's grandmother dying and is now wanting to do everything they can to keep her alive.  My friend disagrees with that, as would I, but it's not really her call.  It's her Mom's call.  She's trying so hard to be strong, to be there for her Mom and she's breaking apart on the inside.  Of course she's having her own demons to deal with, so that's not helping at all.

Evidently her son's father, who actually had custody for a while because my friend was having to deal with a domestic violence charge from her current husband (long story), has a very bad drug addiction problem.  I knew this guy when I lived in Atlanta and both of them attended my wedding.  I knew he had problems controlling his alcohol intake at times, but I didn't know about his drug addiction.  I'm not clear when it started or if it's something he has had for a long time.  Anyhow, I guess his parents got desperate and were physically taking him to a rehab center for admittance.  Well, he escaped.  Now no one seems to know where he's at.  Apparently, he was not wanting to go to rehab, but it was being forced upon him.  Obviously my friend now has custody of their son and she is having trouble trying to explain to her son what's going on with his father. 

She had to take the summer off working because of all of this and she was very vague when I asked how things were going with her current husband.  She was heading up to Tennessee with her Mom to be with her grandmother over the weekend.  I've never heard her be so upset before so I know she has to be going through hell right now.  She feels that everyone thinks she's the strong one so she has to be there for everyone else.  Now her Mom needs her and she's trying to be there for her, but she's falling apart on the inside.  I told her to take care of herself first, otherwise she can't be there for anyone else.  I also told her it's OK if people don't see her as being as strong as she always portrayed.  She's human, she has feelings and she's going through a lot for anyone to deal with, so I know most people would understand. 

I think she felt better after talking to me, which made me feel good.  I just hope things get better for her.  I know how it can seem that everything bad happens all at once at times.

Other than that, not much really went on this weekend.  Hubby wasn't as depressed as I figured he'd be.  It did suck being broke, but we watched movies and found other things to do.  So I do feel better than I did in my last entry.

I'm still stressing over our jobs situation.  Mine is still up in the air because we don't know if we're being bought out or not.  I'm hearing conflicting stories, so I'm just not sure who to believe.  I guess there's not much I can do.  Hubby has been very unhappy with his job, but has felt he's stuck there because he's been there so long that he can't get another job anywhere around here for anywhere close to what he's making there.  Still, he gets so aggravated that he almost quit today.  I guess both he and his best friend were threatened with their jobs this morning.  Then his best friend (who has been staying with us off and on due to girlfriend problems) was told he had a week to clean out his tools and leave.  I don't know if hubby is included in that or not.  Nothing has been said to him yet, so I don't know what's going on.  I have mixed feelings, though.  He's been so unhappy that if they did let him go, at least he could probably collect unemployment until he found something else.  He won't be making as much money though, but that we already know.  Still, I really would hate for him to be out of a job or have to take a lower salary with my job so up in the air too.  It seems neither one of us can feel very secure in our jobs right now, which is not good.  It's much better if at least one of us isn't in this predicament.  I just let him know that my job is up in the air so that hopefully he won't do something rash and just quit his job right now, because we may not have mine to fall back on.  Just another thing to worry about right now...

I suppose I need to call and check on my Mom.  It appears that the hurricane was passing right through her town, although by then it had decreased quite a bit since she's not on the coast.  Still, I hope she didn't lose power or if she did, it wasn't for very long.  I would not wish anyone to have to be without power as many days as we were last year during the hurricanes.  While everyone else seemed to have made out like bandits, getting money here and there from FEMA or getting new roofs, etc., we only got reimbursed $115 from FEMA for motel expenses, which didn't close to cover what we spent in hotel rooms, gas for the car & generator, and replacing over $200 worth of food ruined, plus lost work days, etc.  We easily had over $1000 in unexpected extra expenses.  Hurricanes just flat out suck.

THIS IS HELLA COOL!

This is modern James Bond 007 technology in a radio control boat. Trust me on this. You just HAVE to check this video out:

HydroFoam video

WHAT'S IT MATTER?

I'm sad, discouraged, disappointed, and just don't see the point in trying to do much of anything anymore.  No one really gives much of a crap anyhow and I always end up feeling that I just wasn't good enough or that I can't do anything good enough to satisfy some people.  I've just really had the wind knocked out of my sails with everything this past week or so.  Usually I'm quick to get back up when I fall down and try again.  This time I just feel like staying down.

It's not just the tooth pain, although that aggravates everything else, I'm sure.  It's losing my cat, it's my Mom being the way she is and putting hubby down every chance she gets, it's being worried about my nephew, it's having a crummy 10 year anniversary and being so broke on top of it, it's me feeling I'm a wet blanket because I haven't felt like doing much of anything, it's me feeling that anything good I do is vastly overshadowed by everything wrong I do (at least in other people's eyes), it's me not being able to relax and enjoy anything I would normally enjoy or being able to have time to myself without feeling I'm neglecting other people or being selfish, it's me asking or needing help or understanding from those close to me and again being made to feel my requests are unreasonable or selfish.  I could go on and on and on.

Nothing ever seems to change.  I just vent about the same things month after month.  I push away my friends when I really need them.  I don't mean to, but it seems I do by my actions and words.  Family members and others just keep pushing me and pushing me.  I need to do more of this or that, or less of this or that.  Then when I comply, it's not good enough, or other things I'm doing wrong are brought up.  It's never enough.  It's never good enough.  I get to feeling that it's all my fault.  They may not say it, but they act like everything that is wrong with their lives is because I'm not doing something they want.  I really want people in my life to be happy.  I try to help them to be happy.  I would generally do anything they needed me to in order for them to be happy.  But when I fall short, then I feel I am the reason they are unhappy.  So why do I even try?  I haven't figured that out yet.

Hubby doesn't like me blogging.  He thinks it's a waste of time.  It doesn't matter that it's therapeutic for me or that perhaps I might enjoy it.  He sees it as time taken away from him.  He sees it as I'm not giving him all the attention he needs.  Same with poker.  Poker is what we got into our last fight about.  It doesn't matter to him if I'm happy because I actually did well and took out a professional player who placed 3rd in the 2004 WPT.  To him, it means I'm not paying him enough attention.

So when I actually want someone to talk to about problems at work (oh yeah, I guess I didn't mention that above), or about my tooth problems, I basically don't have that luxury.  He doesn't want to hear about it.  I was told today that he's tired of hearing about me being in pain and that he's in pain all the time.  He's tired of me talking to him about anything at work because he wants me to find another job closer to home and he's complained and complained that I haven't gotten a raise.  The reason I haven't gotten a raise is because the company may get bought out and if that happens, I'm out of a job anyhow.  Therefore they are not spending any extra money on anything until they know whether or not the company will be bought out.  No raises for anyone are going through.  It's not anything personal against me.  Now is just not the time to go rocking the boat, yet that's exactly what hubby wants me to do.  I have good benefits here and if I started another job, I have to wait another 90 days to get benefits again, plus another year to get into a 401K plan.  This is the first time I've actually been able to start contributing to one.  Also, I like my job and I like the people I work with.  I may gripe about the company's inefficiencies at times or be worried about the possible buy out, but I have better rapport with my co-workers here than any other job.  The downside to my job is that I have to drive 40 miles a day, which gets expensive.  And sometimes I have to work late, which again cuts into the 'attention time' hubby needs.

So now I'm at the point where I really can't talk to him about anything that might be bothering me that's work related or that has to do with me hurting and probably nothing else either.  He wants all my attention, yet I can't talk to him about certain things.  Before this fight we had, I would blog to vent and get these things off my chest, or basically 'talk' about them in writing, sometimes in public, sometimes not.  Now I have less I feel free to talk to him about and he doesn't want me to blog about it, either.  I guess I'm supposed to keep it inside and put on a happy face all the time. 

If he's down or depressed, which is 99% of the time, I'm there trying to cheer him up or explain the bright side.  I'm there trying to help, even though most times it just seems to anger him even more.  So now that I am depressed, I really needed him to be there for me.  And he wasn't.  He didn't say anything to try to help me feel better.  He doesn't care my tooth hurts.  He doesn't care that I cried half the night or that I cried today.  He doesn't care about any problems, health or otherwise that I am having.  He wants me to have no problems and to take care of his needs. 

I know this isn't right nor is it the way things should be.  But I also know that he probably has legitimate gripes about some things I do or don't do.  I'm certainly not a saint, and I'm sure I don't pay attention to him as much as I should at times.  I get tired of hearing about all his work problems and how he hates it.  I get tired of hearing how he can't do anything right and him putting himself down all the time.  I get tired of hearing from him that if this is the way life is and that things aren't going to go the way he wants at least 40% of the time, he doesn't want to live anymore.  Things don't go the way I want to even 25% of the time and I think most people are closer to that.  40% isn't realistic, I think.  Life is difficult and things just never go the way you want them to.  I know mine certainly hasn't.

Not only was I somewhat excited about my small poker victory against the professional, but I also found out something else yesterday that gave me a spark of hope, which is now all but extinguished.  I found out a major drug company is giving away scholarships for adults diagnosed with ADD to help them continue their education.  I was really excited about this and I printed out all the forms.  I don't know what chance I have over how many other applicants, but I was willing to give it a shot because I have been wanting to go back to school.

But after last night and after today and just so many things bringing me down, I don't see much point in even trying to do it.  Even if I won a scholarship, I don't see me being able to go to school and study without it cutting into his 'attention' time.  I already know that studying would take up a good bit of my evening time if I was still working, which I had planned to do.  I foresee that being a major problem.  And that's even if I were to win.  My self confidence is just shot to hell.  And even things that I seem to do well at, aren't things that matter one bit to anyone else in my life.  It's always the things that I'm falling short on that are noticed.

So I'm venting, while I can.  I don't really want any comments on this post because I already know what most people are going to say about hubby.  I know I deserve to be happy, blah, blah, blah...  I love him and I know he has a major problem with depression.  And I know most, if not all of his behavior towards me and what he gets pissed about is because of his depression.  He needs help and I know it.  I've had no luck convincing him of it as of yet.

The only thing I can think right now is just to let him know that I don't want any gifts for our past anniversary, for my birthday, for Christmas or anything.  I only want one thing and one thing only and if he wants to get me something or do something for me, it's going to be this one thing and that's it.  That's all I want.  I want him to go talk to someone.  It's getting to the point that it's no longer going to be just merely a suggestion.  Threats and ultimatums don't work with him.  He'll just leave.  So I can't go about it that way.  I have to use a different approach than that.  So I'm not sure what all I'll have to do.  All I know is that I don't want him buying me one more thing.  One way or another, he's going to have to know that this is important to me and I'm not going to let it go this time.

Back to another day in the hell that is my life right now...  More later.  Maybe.

SHORT AND NOT SO SWEET UPDATE

Well, I went back to the dentist today after being in pain all weekend and yesterday. They adjusted my temporary crown some, and took some more X-rays, but didn't find anything else out of the ordinary. So he sent me home with some more pain killers. If it doesn't quit hurting by next Wednesday, he said they may have to take the nerve out, which I'm guessing means a root canal. But it's better if they do that before they put the permanent crown on than after. At this point, I really don't give a shit. I just want it to stop hurting. They could pull the damn thing out if they wanted and I wouldn't be upset in the least as long as I knew the pain would cease.

I did go out Sunday night and we didn't get home until 6 or so the next morning. I got video footage, but haven't looked through it yet. At one point, I fell with the video camera and busted up my knee a bit. Nothing major and I held the camera up so it wouldn't hit the floor. The floor was wet and the place was extremely packed and everyone was bumping into everyone. Well, I'm sure the video footage will show that to some extent. I was told by several people that I was brave venturing into the crowd with the camera in the first place, but I wanted to get some good video. Of course I had also consumed a decent bit of alcohol to try and numb my tooth pain, which makes me a little braver anyhow.

I'd post more on the weekend and the party, but I am hurting pretty badly and this day has really sucked anyhow and I think I'm just ready for it to be over.

On one interesting bit of news, evidently I took out a professional poker player in the first part of the WPTfan Series of Poker Heads Up No Limit Texas Hold 'Em, which some of the other players seemed awfully grateful for. His name is Matt Matros. I was taken out by one of the players that was so thankful to me in the next round, though. Eh, it happens.

SUMMERS IN FLORIDA-FINAL VERSION. MY FIRST VIDEO.

I am so excited!  This is much better than the way I felt last night or this morning.  I have a found a place where I can upload up to 10 mb of video to for FREE! 

I posted a very rough draft of the first video I was working on many months ago.  I don't even know if it worked correctly.  I do know it was horrible quality and I didn't even get all of it to render or upload correctly.

I've since refined that video, added a bit more footage, added some cool transitions and other stuff, faded the music to go with it better and even burned it to CD and showed it to some of my friends.  I was disappointed at the time because the file is over 300 mb for almost 8 minutes of video, which is fine on a CD or a hard drive, but impossible to upload anywhere for free and a pain for anyone not on broadband to probably view.

So I rendered it to a smaller wmv file that is less than 10 mb.  I was able to upload it to this site and now I get to share my finished video with my Internet friends.  I had to lower the quality some to get it under 10 mb, but I think it's better than the quality of the rough draft I posted before.

Here is a bit of information about this video.  The poem at the beginning (which may be too fuzzy to read) is "High Flight" which I've posted on my blog here:  "High Flight". 

The airplane in this video is the one that our friend Rick died in.  Some of you might remember hearing about this small plane crash down near Miami in December of 2002.  It crashed into a Federal Reserve building where some employees were having a Christmas party.  So there was talk of it being a terrorist attack at first because of that.  No one in the building was hurt.  It was later ruled as an accident by the FAA.

The scenes from the video were shot at many different times over several years.  I am the one running the camera most of the time.  Hubby ran it for most of the airplane footage.

Casper is the water skiing Cocker Spaniel.  He seriously loves to ski and he loves to ride on the jet skis as well.  The thing that Becky and Casper are riding on is a big circular piece of plywood.  The 'dog ski' we made for Casper consisted of an old knee board on top of two old wooden water skis.  The time he went before this one that I got on tape, he made it all the way around the lake.  Of course as soon as I got the camera out, he ends up wiping out fairly quickly.

In the scooter racing scene, hubby and his friends painted some lines on the street, setting up a makeshift 'race course' in front of our house.  The parts that are filmed in a more black and white hue were at night.  I have night vision on my camcorder.  So I can actually film things at night without any light at all.  Sort of helps you see, too. 

The scene with all the old cars is from Turkey Rod Run.  The last car you see in the scene is what my first car was: a 1947 Chevy coupe.

All the fish in the tank swimming were from my salt water tank.

And lastly, the guy with the hat on and with the black poodle on a leash is NOT gay.

So this is the finished version of my first video of stuff we like to do.  I called it "Summers in Florida" because most of the footage was taken during various summers, and also because of my old neighbor, Johnny, who is briefly seen in the scooter racing scene riding the one scooter with a headlight.  He lives in that green house you see in that same scene.  He is a real redneck and a professional alcoholic.  He does it for a living.  Seriously.  Anyhow, he'd come over to borrow something and it'd sound something like this:  "I can't find no chain lube fer my chainsaw.  I know I had it here summers (instead of 'somewheres'.  Ya'll got any?"  He'd always thank us after returning it by saying:  "Preshadit" (or "I appreciate it" for those of you who don't speak redneck).  So all these scenes from my video were taken 'Summers(somewheres) in Florida'.  And just like my neighbor Johnny used to say:  "Jus' Cuz".  He got annoying at times because he liked to watch us work and he was ALWAYS there.  But now that we've moved to a new neighborhood, sometimes I miss old Johnny.  Sometimes.

Here is the link to my video:  Summers in Florida (final version)

 

I welcome your comments.  Remember, it is my first try at this.

 

TODAY IS MY 10 YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

I've been married for 10 years today. I was hoping that we would be doing something really special for this day, but alas, it's not going to happen. I'm still in pain from the dentist yesterday and I have a bad migraine as well. I'm working today, although my boss has said my 'color' doesn't look good and was hinting at me going home. I only have 2 more hours to go, though. I just wish I hadn't started getting a migraine too. A lot of it is this rainy weather we keep having and the barometric pressure changes. The rest of it is probably because I'm already in pain from the dental work, which limits me eating much, and I'm also irritated right now.

All we have planned is to go out to eat tonight. I don't think he's bought me anything and I haven't really bought him anything. Maybe we'll think of something together we want and get it eventually.

I think this would be a better anniversary if I wasn't in pain and I actually felt like doing something. All I feel like doing at the moment is going home and going to bed. But we really want to try and go to the German restaurant tonight because we don't go there often.

I'll see how I feel later. Right now, I can't even think about food.

MIDNIGHT PICTURES

Here's a picture of Midnight when he was younger. He knew the sound of my bike and would come running up to meet me every time. This was back in my college days.

To the right is another picture of Midnight about 2 years ago with Priestess, my other cat.

I have more pictures somewhere, but for now this is all I could find very quickly.

You'll be missed, Midnight...