INFURIATED

I am slightly infuriated at the moment.  I talked to my mother on the phone tonight and I could tell she was a bit tired.  That usually means that it doesn't take much for her to decide to start pushing buttons.

With the past week and weekend I've had, I'm in no mood to deal with the woman.  Naturally she starts in on my husband since that is her favorite thing to do.  If I had been laid off, it would be a different story, but since he was the one that was laid off, it is somehow HIS fault in her mind.  Well, of course it isn't his fault because they laid everyone off.  The company is most likely declaring bankruptcy and will just re-organize and open up under a different name.  I see companies do that quite a bit.  The fact that he hasn't found full time work paying the same or more than he was making means that he isn't pulling his weight in her eyes.  She knows nothing of the work world.  She's never had to work a day in her life.  My Dad supported her and he was in the military so he had about the best job security one could have.  People didn't just get laid off in the military, so my Mom does not understand that we live in a time where there really is no job security and lay-offs and downsizing can occur at any time.

I know she is going to get her barbs in at some point during my visit there next week.  She pretty much confirmed it tonight.  She said that she's going to have a 'long talk' with me about my husband and that I am going to listen and we're not going to get angry at each other.  I think she needs to put down the crack pipe, because she must be smoking something to think that I am going to sit idly by while she trashes my husband during her 'long talk'.  She says that she needs to get it off her chest and that once she has, she won't mention it again.  Yeah, right.  I told her that sometimes we don't necessarily need to get everything off our chest by saying whatever you feel to someone else.  She has her opinion and she's not ever going to change it.  She even agreed that she didn't like any of the men I've ever dated, which I knew.  It wouldn't have mattered who I had married.  She wouldn't like them.  So I'm not sure exactly how I am going to handle this.  I could either just sit quietly and put my mind elsewhere and let her say whatever she wants and just not pay any attention or I could tell her I don't care to listen to her trash my husband and leave the room or take a drive.  I'm not sure what other options I have, but this is the whole friggen reason I am not looking forward to this so called 'vacation' next week.

To top it off, I mentioned the scholarship I had applied for to her several weeks ago, so I told her I had gotten a letter regarding it.  Before I could even say that I had not been selected, she spouted off that I didn't deserve any scholarship.  Excuse me?  I met the requirements for the scholarship and I damn well deserve it just as much as any other applicant that wanted to better themselves.  She actually accused me of just wanting the money from the scholarship and not actually using it for school.  They don't just write you a check.  They write a check to the school that you are attending so that they know it is used for school.  I just couldn't believe she was saying this to me.  She really knows nothing about ADHD or how it could have affected my life.  Then she asks me who is going to support my husband if I decide to go back to school.  And yes, she meant it as an insult in every way imaginable.

She wonders why my husband will not talk to her.  He won't sit and tolerate her verbal abuse without telling her exactly what he thinks of it and what he thinks of her upsetting me.  He has much less patience than I do and he feels he doesn't need to tolerate her abuse.  In that regard, I agree with him.  Nothing good would come of those two talking to each other.  That's why I am going there, because I really don't want my Mom coming here.  I would be sick the whole time worrying about the two of them in the same room.  Hubby was actually going to stay at a motel if she came to visit and I don't blame him.  We know it's not going to change and that my Mom is never going to be civil very long.  It's sad and I envy those families that get along much better with their in-laws.  My mother makes all these problems though.  She is the one that has chosen to be ugly to both her son-in-law and her daughter-in-law.  As a result, she has pushed both my brother and I away from her.

I had to rant because I am just fuming.  I really don't know how I'm going to handle her little talk where she just trashes him and I know it's coming.  It's not going to be a good scene.