YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM A SMALL TOWN IN TEXAS WHEN...

The "road hog" in front of you on Main Street is a farmer's combine.

You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair.

You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.

No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.

You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.

Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.

There's no place to go that you shouldn't.

A "Night on the Town" takes only 30 minutes.

Running from the cops consists of hiding in the cornfield.

You have to name six surrounding towns to explain to people where you're from.

You have to drive five miles out in the country to smoke a cigarette.

Headline news is who grew the biggest vegetable this year.

There is no point in high-school reunions because everyone knows what everyone else is doing anyway.

Driving cars up and down the main drag is a universal high school experience.

You can name everyone you graduated with.

You know what 4-H is.

ou ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.

You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour.

You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't - same goes with the game warden.

You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting.

School gets canceled for state sporting events.

You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were and if you were old enough, they would still tell your folks.

When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out to the country and drive back roads to smoke them.

You were ever in the Homecoming parade.

You have ever gone home for Homecoming.

It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.

You had senior skip day.

The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

You don't give directions by street names or references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks to the Anderson's turn left and it's four houses left of the football field).

The golf course had only 9 holes.

You can't help but date a friend's ex-girlfriend or boyfriend.

Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.

The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty" but is actually just like your town.

Getting paid minimum wage is considered a great job.

The movie theatre only showed one movie a week and only on weekends and it was something that had already been out for months.

The people in the city dress funny, then you pick up on the trend a few years later.

Everyone in town knew what you drove.

Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.

You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.

Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

Directions are given using one of the 3 stop lights as a reference.

Your letter jacket was worn after your 19th birthday.

Someone's family reunion usually meant half the town would be there.

Weekend excitement involves a trip to the grocery store.

Even the ugly people enter beauty contests.

You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.

Your teachers call you by your older siblings names.

Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.

You can charge at all the local stores.

The closest McDonald's is 45 miles away.

So is the closest mall.

It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.

Everyone who played sports had to play on every type of team, or there wouldn't be enough people to have a team.

Being able to hit a road sign with a beer bottle while driving down the highway is considered a necessary skill.

A cool vehicle was anything new or that had a bad-ass stereo.

You can remember when your town finally got cable.

You thought the 30-year-old guy that still was at all the parties was cool.

The airport in the next town consisted of one Cessna and a large pasture.

You know exactly where to go when the party is at "the lake".

The best places to eat in town all look like the last place you'd want to go inside to eat, and the Gun Club holds their meetings at the same places.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from a small town in Texas.